Back from Dead - As a Gunslinger and Boxer

Yo! I had been gone for some time. So, anyone missed me?
No0..Nah..nada...zilch...not even one soul.
what...what are you saying? oh...you didn't even notice I was gone.
come on guys...stop being funny...seriously now, tell me, how much did you miss me?
wait..wait where are you all going...come back please...
why are you raising ur middle finger alone....
oh..you just missed me for one second. That's soo cruel dude. Waaah....waaah.....waah

Anyway, lot of exciting stuff happened....thought I will share one 'Stupid a.k.a Boxer' story and one 'Dream Come true a.k.a Gunslinger' story.

'Dream Comes true a.k.a Gunslinger'

I have always wanted to fire a gun and today it became true. We rented a Glock 34 and headed for the shooting range. It was amazing. We had the ear muffs on and still it was loud. None of those atom bombs you blasted on Diwali will prepare you for this day. The recoil was strong. I don't how people can become a marksman with that much recoil. But, it was everything I dreamed off. It was powerful and intoxicating. Some pics for you.



'Stupid a.k.a Boxer'

This is how the story goes. One day we find a nice beer store which serves more than 150 kinds of beer. We see Paulaner, Spaten and a ton of other German, Belgium and Swedish brands. As expected, we go crazy and buy large cases of beer.

One idiot, Sathish, starts punching my stomach for no reason. If you drink or have friends who drink, you will understand this is the first sign of Alcohol starting to kill the brain cells. At this point my brain cell count is dangerously low and I am egging him to hit me with his full force.By now, the other two friends who were watching wants to join the fun and starts punching my stomach.

Soon, the discussion turns into who has the best punch. Please remember, at this point there are 4 guys in the room with very high alcohol and stupidity level. So we decided to punch the closet door and see who can break it. I go first and breaks the door in the first attempt. But, the guys won't let me have the glory. They say the door was very easy and they don't have 3 more closet doors to prove their strength. Valid point though.

The fridge that was standing very close to the coat closet caught our attention. It was decided that all four of us will punch the fridge in 4 different places and whoever gets the bigger dent is the winner. Babu goes and fails. After him Pankaj goes and fails too. Now, its my turn. I am afraid I might also loose. So, I let it fly......BOOOOOM....there is this nice dent on the freezer. Two of my knuckles had made a nice impression.

The next day morning I find out I have a broken hand. The doctor says it will not heal itself and we need to screw a plate...and also put a screw in my head to tighten my brain...Anyway, while waiting for the doctor, there was a poster in the room detailing all kinds of hand fracture. It said the kind of fracture I got, usually happens to Boxers and so its called Boxer Fracture. Now, do I have to spell it out that it was the proudest moment in my life :)

F**king Unbeleivable

I was walking from my office to PATH station. Big evening crowd. Suddenly, the lady before me says 'what the fuck'. I saw what happened. The asshole who just passed me had just pressed the ladies breast in broad sunlight. I pause a little bit to see what she is gonna do. Then she turns to her friend and says

'I can't beleive he did that. I mean...why he had to do that. All he had to do was ask me out. Did you see him...he was so gorgeous'

Holy crap....wtf is happening here...he just mollested her in the middle of 6th Ave and she was letting him go. I thought I know something about girls...I give up...they are one complicated bunch

Aftr this, I keep walking to the station thinking how bizzare the whole thing was.

After reaching the station what do you think I see. Take a guess. I see a lady wrapped in a small towel...a pretty one too...no...not the towel...the lady...the lady was pretty

She was standing inside the train wrapped in a small towel...like she just finished her bath and relaxing in her bedroom....but the real shocker was the passengers...no one seemed to care or excited....Come on...haw many times you have seen a lady in a train in a towel...

Am I seeing things...I think I am going crazy...NYC is one fucked up city

Interesting times ahead

I got a new Job in NYC as a Enterprise Architect.

So, its bye bye Pitsburgh and hello NYC. I was a bit suprized when I got this Job. I was only aiming for Solutions Architect position. I applied for this job just for the fun of it. Someone made a mistake in decision making and I got this job. How else can I explain it? They had 4 chances to escape from me...they missed their chances...now, they have to suffer...hahaha

The most important reason for this post is to warn Bin Laden....'dei dubuku..thalaivar (me than)un fav city pakkam vararu....athu theriyama nee pattukum pattasa koluthi potudathe....olukama nadanthuko'

oh..one more thing. I don't feel nostalgic at all. I was here for the past 11 months...don't feel any attachments...am I a horrible person?

A revolution is coming

(Nothing serious...just a funny attempt...I don't condone anything I am saying in this post and I am against all those things said in the picture)

I have some real bad disturbing news for my 'Brothers of Manhood'. It will definitely be traumatizing. So, if you have any heart problems, please stop reading. Ignorance is bliss.

I have proof that we are being cheated, used, violated and robbed of our freedom and basic rights by our female counterparts (or should I say 'Witches of the Sisterhood').

Last week, I was send a highly confidential package that contained some very disturbing documents. That document came into existence 52 years ago. To be exact, it was a copy of the Magazine called as 'Housekeeping Monthly' dated 13th May 1955. Please read the attachment below to understand the gross injustice that has been practiced by our beautiful female counterparts on us for the better part of last two decades.

Click on the picture below to read its contents. Its very important you read the underlined lines in the picture below

Brothers, its time to get back what is ours. Whats lost can be reclaimed. Its not too late. Join with me to reclaim our Glory. I will give you the freedom our ancestors enjoyed 50 years ago.

But, BEWARE....the opposition is know for its totalitarian and fascistic approach. They will try miniskirts to derail us. Tight T-shirts and tiny weeny itsy bitsy shorts will be used as weapons of slavery. Tank tops and tight jeans will be weared just to floor us. But, remember my friends...we are already on the floor. Any further below, we will get buried alive.

But, my friends, those weapons does not scare me. I am afraid of something more sinister. Its so evil to the level that we can't imagine. I am informed that our female Nazi's have a super secret weapon. Its a lethal combination of saree, Jasmine flower and homely look. Anyone wearing any of these should not be trusted but viewed with serious distrust.

I understand that its not easy to escape the cunning traps described above. In those trying situations think about the things we can enjoy if we succeed in this holy war. I have mentioned a few below. Please go ahead and read them.

In 1955, according to that magazine,

• a women had no right to question her man.
• can't question him if he comes late at night
• has to provide him with drinks after work....heineken baby

these are just a few of the benefits....hundreds will follow....

P.S: Nope...Iam not a male chauvenistic pig....but I just can't stop imagining about life during year 1955. Man....those guys had it easy...In 1955, I can sit at home watching Sunday Afternoon Football with a Beer in my hand. Damn...where is my farking Time Machine

Pennsylvennia Sucks

Pennsylvenia DMV says "Driving is not your right...its a Privilege". WTF....last time I checked this was a free country and Hitler was killed long ago. Iam telling you...these guys are Grade A douche bags.

Last weekend, went to Atlantic City for a nice weekend of Poker and Blackjack. Had a room booked in Tropicana. Rented a Mustang. Everything fine till my foot became a little heavy and started punching that Mustang at high speeds. I don't know about you guys. For me, pumping a sports car and melting the asphalt in a curvy road is way better than Sex. Now, no innocent questions like 'Sir, do you get an orgasm while u drive?'. This is a PG rated Blog ;) (Due to Sat's not so innocent comments....i want to mention that I don't have any practical experience in the above mentioned analogy....not b'cos I didn't have any offers...just b'cos I am a pakka tamilan. LMAO)

It was a 55 mph zone and I was going at 110 mph. I mean...it was a Friday night. What looser is going to hide under a bridge holding a radar. Wrong...big mistake.

For all those people who are thinking ..."Big Deal...so you got a ticket for speeding 50 miles above speed limit...the max you get is 1 month suspension and a reckless driving charge....cry me a river ahole", please look below.

Driving Record of Wyvern for the last 7 months - The cutest Dragon (From now on please call me by this name)

Crime	Date	Fine
Speeding: 105 mph on 55 mph	June 1st 2007	$228
Speeding: 75 mph on 65 mph	May 4th 2007	$135
No Inspection	Sometime May 07	$75
Caught Driving on suspended License	Feb 2007	$280 + License Suspended for 1 more year
Disregarding Lanes causing Accident (just ask Adia at kadalamittai.blogspot on his life threatening experience)	Feb 2007	$75
No registration	Feb 2007	$75
Disregarding a Citation	Jan 2007	$300
Caught Driving on suspended License	Dec 2006	$280 + License Suspended for 1 year
Disregarding a Citation	Nov 2006	License Suspended for 20 days
Speeding: 59 mph on a 35	Oct 2006	$157

Wait a minute for 5 minutes...there are more side effect charges



Now you know why Penn DMV says ""Driving is not your right...its a Privilege" and why they are freaking right.

Its because of idiots like me.

P.S: I don't know why...but I am mighty proud of my driving record....this is a thar perumai post....yup...iam a shameless narcisstic pig rolling in self vanity

Feelings of a Tamil Music lover (Not me)

Saw this coment on rediff. Some North Indian gave bad review to Cheeni Kum and others were commenting about Illayaraja - both bad and good

Some Tamilan got offended and gave one of the most coolest praise for Raja...here it goes

Well, I think the music of Ilaiyaraaja itself is a generation, an era. Why? when you are the first Asian to perform at RPO of London, you are an era. When you have scored music for nearly 850 movies (that is almost 4000 songs not to mention the BGMs), you are an era. When The Great Naushad said that you have achieved what we haven't achieved in 100 years, you are an era. When you have the record for the Tamil album (Thiruvasagam) that sold more numbers than any other Tamil album, you are an era. John Williams took seven months to one year to compose music for Saving Private Ryan. When you compose music for the whole movie in weeks possibly in days for Oscar bidding, thats too three movies (Nayagan, Anjali, Hey Ram), you are an era. When you write music for a movie in front of the director and producer in few minutes, may be an hour and the album goes on to become one of the greatest audio hits (Chinna Tambi) ever, you are an era. And despite all these achievements if you weren't awarded any major central government award, you are an era and example of bias in our present day India.

what u think?

Joint Family Chronicles

In these chronicles, you will read about some funny stuff that happens in most joint families.

Incident No: 1

This is similar to the scene in movie 'Anandham' where Abbas calls from Delhi and everyone in the family tries to speak to him.

I think it was 1995-1996. My elder sister joined an Engineering college in Kovai. I still remember the day she left for college. It was like someone died. No one can beat my sister in sympathy dept. She was all smiles while packing her new chudi's. 10 min later when it was time to leave, kannula aruvi kotta arambichuduchu. Athu eppadinga, switch on panna mathiri ala mudiyuthu sila perala. I was the only peson who knew it was an act

During weekend, whole family except me will be waiting for her call. Especially, my mom. She had some wierd ESP power. While the phone is ringing itself she will say ' en ponnu than phone pannura'. Thats it. every one will run for the phone.

My periya chithappa will go like " hello...yaru..kannama'va pesurathu....eppadida iruka chellam....nee illama veeda verichodi pochuda...antha nai than vetti'ya oora suthuikittu eruku" . (enna enga vambuku ilukuranga)

Then my nadu chitapps, will come running, "Yaru ammai'ya phone le" , then rips the phone and starts melting

"Thangam....eppadida eruka....panam ellam irukada...innoru 1000 rupees anupavada....summa vachukada"

ada pavingala...nethu 10 ruba ketathuku antha salambu salabuniga...neramda sami

then he keeps going on and on till my chinna chitaps manages to get the phone and starts his own pasa malai

"chellam...kuttima...nalla erukiyada....mess'le sappadu ellam eppadida iruku...ethavathu venumna solluda...innaku night'a bus pidichu cbe vanthudren."

nanum 2 week'a nandu senju thanganu ketkiren....atha pannale....ana ponnukuna matum 8 hrs travel panni vangi kodupingalo....mavane inimel evanathu pengal, sama urimai nu pesina kola than vilum.

Then the head villain takes the phone....enga daddy'ya than solluren.

"eppadida iruka....college'le pasanga yaravathu ragging pannurangala.....bayapadama sollu...nan parthukiren"

amam ivaru periya sandiyaru...antha math vathi enna remba thituranu nalu nala solikittu eruken...avanaiye onnum panna mudiyala...evaru colllleeegu pasangala all vachu adika poraram...

Finally, my sister asks for me. Not cos of pasam...just to show off her power.

"deiii...ennada olunga padika matengiriyame....olukama nadanthuko...un nallathukuthan sollren"

aading....public exam'le bit adichu pass agitu...ennake advice'a....mavale...leaveku nee intha pakkam thane varuva....anniku vachukiren unnai

Someone then slaps my head strongly and rips the phone from my hand and continues their paza malai. All this b'cos my sister was born right after my grandma died and a part of her name is Grandma's name, which to my chagrin is not abitha kusalambal. Two years later, I joined a college and was all excited to make my first phone call away from home. 5 or 6 rings went and no one took the call...finally, my periya chitaps took the call

Him: neeya....enna sollu....ammava kupidava

Me: neenga eppadi erukinga chithappa

Him: deii enna nakkala...vutena sevulu pinjudum...anju nalaiku munnale enna eppadi parthiyo appadiye than eppavum eruken

ivaru velaiku vara mattaru....vera yarai yavathu try pannuvom

Me: nadu chitappah erukangala

Periya C: avan etho velaiya irukanam...ennanu ketka solran

goyale...namaku akka alavuku mariyathai irukathunu theriyum...ana intha mathiri deposit'a irukathunu theriyama pocha

Then my chinna chitaps takes the phone and asks "dei exam ellam vachangalada"

"illa chithappa, eppo than class start agi eruku...exam ellam ennum one month kalichu than"

"olunga padichu mark vangura valiya paru....ange poiyum poruki mathiri oor suthi kittu erunthe....bus eri vanthu methipen rascal"

ennathu...akkavuku matum bus eri vanthu ketkarathe vangi kodupangalam....ana ennai matum methipangalam.

ithuku melayum phone panna nan enna kiruka illa loosa....me the escape da sami